Honest

I’m a horrible blogger. I don’t have the passion. I’ve never really had the passion for writing. I’m just being honest. I’ve always been jealous of those who can sit and write out well thought out entries on things that are happening in the world. I’m also not very patient when it comes to writing. I’ve always struggled with my writing. Again, I think I’ve always had issues when it comes to my writing. The issues for me stem from inadequacies that I know are from when I was a kid growing up and from when I was a young adult. If anything I’m just a little insecure. The irony in this is that my kids are wonderful writers. They are amazing and are extremely gifted and I am confident that God will use them to change the world.

Some blogs are way too long to read. I don’t have the stamina to sit and read huge entries. I like blogs with a couple of paragraphs and maybe an illustration from something happening in a persons life or something thats useful and thats in the hear and now. Something applicable. This is why I love watching TED Talks.  They’re short and straight to the point. There is always something I can take away and use in my own life. I love reading blogs about practical stuff that I can use and interject into my busy life as a husband, father, and pastor. It doesn’t need to be heady and full of puffiness  It needs to be real and honest. Something I can walk away with and think about as it relates to my own faith journey as a Christian.

When I go to places where other pastors congregate I always feel the pressure of having to have something to say.  I don’t feel like my colleagues pressure me. It’s just me. It’s silly to be honest and when I do finally contribute, I wonder if I what said made sense. Blogging feels like that sometimes. I hate that feeling. Maybe its the introvert in me. I’m a total extrovert when it comes to being up front and after I’ve done what I need to do, I need to retreat, and rest from the energy I used to stand before a group of people or the energy I used in leading a conversation or meeting. Especially with preaching. At the end of a long Sunday, I love that feeling of being able to just zone out and sleep. It’s an opportunity to regroup and reflect.

As 2013 has already begun I am confident that this will be the year where I will tackle some of my own issues when it comes to my writing. I need to. I’m towards the end of a doctor of ministry program which will require lots of reading and writing. I’m now pastoring two churches part-time which means I will need to lean heavily on the peace of Christ to lead me and to guide my spoken words as well as my written words. I want to be one that writes from a perspective that will encourage as well as lift up those who maybe feel the same way about their owns lives. If anything I want to be honest. I also don’t want to feel the pressure of always having to sound smart. It’s not me. I will not bow down as well to the need to impress others. I will be me. I will continue to develop my heart for wanting to listen to others needs. God’s mission is people and I want this to be my mission. I want people to walk away feeling like I’ve heard them. If anything I want 2013 to be the year where I stop beating around the bush as a person and as a leader. I want to stop sugar coating things.

No resolutions this year. Just honest real reflections from my heart and tidbits that I hope will benefit the kingdom of God. If anything I hope this will help me more towards a place of getting over my silly inadequacies and issues that drive my crazy when it comes to writing.

I’m just being honest.

To God be the glory.

Amen.

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2 thoughts on “Honest

  1. K.C., I’m guilty of this as well. My resolution for the year is to do thematic posts three times a week: Monday posts one them, Tuesday another, and Wednesday a third. The challenge in blogging is writing consistently about the things we’re interested in. I’m reading a rooting for you, bro.

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