For a second year as a solo pastor I’ve had the opportunity to participate in a Seder Dinner sponsored by one of our families at church. Has to be my favorite event all year long and is a wonderful experience in preparing for this weekend in reflecting on what was accomplished for us on the cross by Christ and what was fulfilled for us on the day of Resurrection. Although the worship, the breaking of bread in the midst of community, the silence, the Word read and spoken were all reminders of grace, I felt though as if my soul was caught in the middle of a good ol’ fashion “tug of war.”
What was frustrating tonight as a pastor and I wonder if other pastors have felt the same, was the tension of wanting to be one hundred percent available and present for the congregation I serve not only as a pastor, but also being available and present as a husband and father for my wife and and kids. Let me explain. I really wanted to be cloned this evening and couldn’t because two of our three blessings of children had prior engagements. The middle dude had a baseball game and the older dude had a dessert where he was receiving an award for getting all A’s this last semester in his last last year of middle school. (The coveted Principals List for getting a 4.0.)
Anyways, Thanks to mom for juggling the rides and video taping the A list event and still having time to see the last half of the game. I wasn’t able to make these events. I tried but arrived at the field as they were turning off the lights. What was frustrating and it really is the first time I’ve gone through this as a solo pastor was that I wondered why Little League baseball and a public middle school had events scheduled during a week that the larger religious community sees as vital to their own faith journey. I wondered if there were other families and persons who felt the tension that I felt. I guess it didn’t seem right that there even needed to be a choice. Again, proud of them both. Just wish I could have been able to be at all three events, all important to my own walk with Christ.