Going underground…

After going to one of the many youth specialties seminars this past weekend I was thinking about the whole blogging thing and many of our youth who spend time on their myspace and other blogs…even our adults who’ve gone underground in the land of technology…I know it’s easy to do. It’s another way of coping. I’ve done it. This blogging thing was one of my own issues in the beggining of my own young naive blogging experience in that it was and is a way of escape for many…on the flip side (and I know this is contradicting) I’m an advocate for adding to the world of the blog, a kind of dialogue that is uplifting of the cross and edifies the church and proclaims the gospel in a new way…through the use of our computers…

I pondered what I’d be thinking if I were a kid of this day and time when it came to computers and stuff…for me as a youth I didn’t have a way of going under ground if you will when it came to survival as an adolescent growing up the 80’s…when it comes to youth ministry (heard this "underground" phrase from Chap Clark this past weekend which I strongly agree with)in some ways I wish I didn’t know about blogs like "myspace"…it just means that kids are going to find other ways of going "underground" to deal with the "stuff" of life…

below is something I’ve kind of worked on that I’m prayerfully considering using…as a talk…lesson…or a sermon…focusing on how we as the people of God unfortunately avoid the pain and struggle of life’s "stuff and go underground…(if you borrow it…just give me the credit…pretty please)…it’s just an idea I had…to illustrate the need to face the "hard stuff…and to find another way of coping…other than hiding…like so many of us do…and to run toward the Lord for the peace and strength to deal with life’s junk…and to look for others who would walk alongside us in the pain of life, be it a pastor, a youth pastor, someone who has a love for the Lord…and has a heart for nurturing those who need assurance that they aren’t alone and to be able to move through the "stuff…with out giving up…

Meet my best friend…I have lots of friends. Well. Maybe some. On a daily basis I try. I try to get people to like me. I talk. I listen. I share. I watch for what’s in and what’s out. I’ve even been on the side that has hurt others and has been hurt by others. I’ve been caught in the middle. Rumors. Things said about me. True. Some of it. Most of it a lie. A lie to get others to accept me. To care for me. To love me for me.

When I think about it though nothing works. I’ve been hurt. Bruised. Abandoned. Those who’ve been my friends have left me. I’m alone. The friends I have don’t even know my name. Don’t know what I look like. As a matter of fact I’m a different person when I’m around them. I’m beautiful. I’m liked. I’m as popular as the next person. I’m rich. I’ve had sex. Well. Okay. Maybe not, but in the kind of circle of friends I’m talking about I’ve had lots of sex. I’ve even lied about my race.

You see, if my best friend could talk, it could tell you secrets. Secrets. Secrets that my parents would die over if they knew about. Secrets that could change the course of time. Secrets that could haunt me, have haunted me, and will haunt me for as long as I live.

Meet my best friend…

My computer keyboard…

You see. I can talk to my best friend daily. When no one listens. My friend listens to me. When I’m on-line, I can rest knowing that my keyboard will keep me safe from the hard reality that life just plain sucks. Rejection. Hurt. The pain of knowing that there isn’t a soul in this world who would dare like me if they knew me for who I really was.

In many ways my best friend has protected me from every kind of hurt. Twenty-six of his buddies help me formulate my wall of protection. Protection from the world outside. When I know I’m about to be hurt I can delete anyone and everyone from my list of friends if I wanted to. My blogging "my-space" friends. My instant message friends. I’m also quick and witty. I’ve always wanted to be witty. I’m so jealous of those who are quick with their words. When I’m in public I have this tendency of shutting down. Not being able to say a word. For fear of being

Laughed at…ridiculed…rejected…

And when I get home. I can sit in the quiet of my room knowing that I can. I am. I’m able. To just be me. TO be free. To say what I want. To listen if I want to. Knowing that if you hurt me. You disappoint me. I will delete you. I will tell you how it is. I will even let others know how you hurt me. Because. You don’t know me. You won’t know me. You can’t know me. And I’m not afraid.

Mom and dad don’t know. Don’t care. I cover it up well. They try. They forget that this is my day. I’m quick. I learn fast. I can change passwords. I can log in onto other places. I can even post from that cell phone they got me. And they don’t know what happens when I’m out at my friends house. By the way? Did I tell you there are several of me?

My keyboard. I will always have my friend. My friend is universal. The letters don’t change. And my friend has another friend. Meet my mouse. How I love my wireless mouse.  

Just some thoughts. It makes me even want to work harder at loving our church and it’s youth for Christ…and that he would intervene in those places that hurt…

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6 thoughts on “Going underground…

  1. KC:

    See a post I am starting in about 10 minutes of a thought I had today…this is cool that we are both thinking…about this stuff.

  2. Conversation is a coming…go buy “Hurt” by Chap Clark…stuff we’ve chatted about stems from some of his stuff…the link to the book is in my books I want to finish by time I’m forty…

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